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In the right context, though, it can let her clear the air or dispel any frustrating assumptions people make about her.
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You need ice breakers, light-hearted queries, questions that provoke banter, laughter, and thought, as well as questions that dig a bit deeper and go beyond the superficial. What are 5 things you want to accomplish before you die?
Is she into sustainable locales? Get into a conversation about what inspires her. If she has plans to move to Toronto next year, she might not be in a place in her life where a long-term relationship is feasible. What kind of books do you like to read? If work was no longer an option and you had plenty of money, what would you do all day?
Light-hearted questions like this one can stir up memories from her childhood. It shows you care and are invested in learning who she is from her roots and where she came from. This is a fun way to pick her brain and get her talking about what her interests and passions are. What is your biggest pet peeve? Would you go on a cross-country road trip?
Share a funny story at your own expense first. Ask her what her yearbook quote was. Maybe she leaves the TV on when she sleeps or likes to eat ice cream with a fork. Does she only stay in five-star resorts? What do you like most about living here? What are some of your favorite TV shows?
Is she all about news or talk shows? Yes, this is a popular first-date question, but for good reason. Does she wake up, lounge around, read a newspaper, then get ready for work? Read on. You can see how her brain works and how clever she is, too! What are your quirks? Ask her what skills she wants to acquire or hone in her career and life in general. Do you still keep in touch with childhood friends? You can see if your personalities and interests jive, too.
This gives you a chance to see if she has any quirks that are endearing… or a turn off. Likewise, what she studied in school may not be her dream career anymore. Each of these explanations reveals something about her character. How do you like to spend your nights? Go ahead and ask the basic questions about how many siblings she has and how big her extended family is and let the answers lead to deeper, more meaningful ones. It can also open the idea of trying something new together—like cooking—on a second date.
This conversation starter can bring a light, playful, untethered feeling into your mix of questions, Jones says. Is she on the road to self-improvement and solely re to better herself and her career, or does she read for pleasure?
If you were to patent an idea or thing, what would it be? Is she up for camping and RVing? You want positive vibes only on a date. What are your favorite sports? These scenarios are snapshots of three incredibly different people and personality types. Who do you talk to the most? Like some of the other questions on this list, feel out the conversation and only ask this one if the moment feels right as dates could make her feel uncomfortable.
This may seem a bit odd and specific, but how she likes to travel is Olympia even more telling than where she likes to travel. What are you most afraid of? Is it the money, the impact, the enjoyment? Catching her off guard is a good thing so long as your intentions are innocent and playful. Try both. Does she only watch educational shows? And who knows, maybe blind went to the same camp or vacation spot each summer.
Dating just got a whole lot easier. you'll never run out of questions with this arsenal.
See what talents she admires. Does she wake up, get ready, and rush to work with minutes to spare? How did you spend your day? Tell me about your family.
Some say you never truly know someone until you travel with them. In a new city, what attraction do you have to visit first? This question can go the trivial or serious route. How do you like to spend your mornings? What is your favorite dish to cook? Your future dates depend on it. It promotes a good back-and-forth between the two of you.
This is a ballsy question, so use your discretion. Her interests are reflected in what she likes to watch on a daily basis. It might seem super particular, but her morning routine is hugely revealing. Or does she meditate, go for a six-mile run, shower, and make a gourmet breakfast before heading out the door? What did you do last weekend? Break the ice with a simple, straight-forward question like this. A little banter is a good that your humor is in sync. What sort of things make you laugh out loud? If you want the conversation to become a bit reflective, thoughtful, and meaningful, this is a great fall-back.
This may or may not be the same person she spends the most time with, but both people are obviously key to who she is.
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Lots of laughter on a first date is a greatJones says. Waiting to be seated at your table or for your waiter to arrive? Everyone loves to laugh, and talking about the things that make you both fall into Olympia fit—cheesy pickup lines, dad jokes, a particular YouTube flick—gets the conversation flowing… and both of you laughing. If things get a bit awkward or serious, divert to a more carefree dates. What are you most passionate about? Unless she moved around a lot as a kid this should spark questions, tooasking whether she still talks to friends from childhood will reveal how she values relationships and loyalty.
When you ask the right questions—even ones as simple as this—it blind unveil a goldmine of information. Is she an absolute reality show junkie? Those small details and what she chooses to focus on—whether good or bad—clue you in on her personality big time.
Ask her how she spends her free time! If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go? Is she a thrill-seeker or a free spirit?
Is she a bargain traveler? Try to slip it in to conversation if she mentions a career path she could have gone down or a trip of a lifetime she never took. Instead of asking her if she works out, see what her favorite physical activities are instead. Just tread lightly. If you were stranded on an island and could take three things with you, what would they be? Food is always a safe topic of conversation—and an endless one, too. Ask about the little things that drive her nuts.
Better yet, her reason will be incredibly telling. Good: You can see if she has a tight bond with her parents or siblings. By posing this question, you get her thinking about some of the best times in her life.
Who has been the most influential person in your life? You can use this question as a preface or follow up to No. Both of you get the floor to speak about your childhood. Let one question lead to another. Sure, it might be a little embarrassing, but the stories behind the nickname will make for perfect, light-hearted conversation. This question gives you major brownie points for being clever.